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5 Mindset Shifts to Help You Stop Taking Life So Seriously (Part 2)

Hello loves!

Sorry for the ~long~ delay in getting part two out! I've been super busy with work and a personal project I'm trying to finish up. That being said, I think for the foreseeable future, this blog is going to be less of a weekly thing and more of an every-other-week type of posting. This blog has lowkey become the forgotten middle child of my writing endeavors, and I want to give it the attention it deserves.

So here's to hoping for more consistency!

Coincidentally, having to pause and figure out how to be more intentional with this blog is the perfect tie-in to the second part of Not Taking Life Too Seriously. A full disclosure, this mindset shift is really important to me, so it's going to be its own post. I'm going to talk about some stuff that I've been thinking about for a while now, so if I get long-winded... oopsie.

Now, without further ado, the third mindset shift to not take life too seriously is to Remember What You're Here For.

This one sounds a bit self-explanatory, and yet, I think it's one of the hardest mindset shifts to have. I certainly struggle with it; from the big things to something as small as this blog.

If I can be real for a minute, there were times in the past where I took a break from writing because I was stressing myself out over it. This shouldn't be too surprising-- y'all know me, recovering perfectionist over here-- but considering this blog is supposed to be all about allowing yourself to be a little less than perfect, it's a bit silly how much I'd worry about trying to write everything 'perfectly'.

I'd worry about my posts being too pretentious or holier-than-thou vibed. Other times, I'd worry people would read it & go "she had to spend an entire post talking about something we all already know? Lame."

(I'm kidding. I know people don't use the word 'lame' anymore).

My point is, I started taking this blog too seriously and that led to me placing a ton of pressure on both myself and on this blog as a whole. It started to be less of a fun thing where I could share some (hopefully) good advice and turned into this ominous shadow that weighed down my to-do list. I've given a lot of projects and hobbies this treatment, and I'm sure I'll end up doing it again in the future.

I think people have the tendency to put life through the same treatment. We only get the one, after all, but instead of using it to live the way we want to, we spend it freaking out over money and jobs and social status and technological advances (I'm talking to you, Generative AI. No one likes you) and so many more things that we really shouldn't be stressing about.

Lord, yes, there's a lot of bad sh*t in the world. Like a stupid amount, and people are constantly drenched in it from sun-up to sun-down. The 24-hour news cycle has partnered up with social media to create a lovechild called Over Information that is currently running rampant. I bring this up not because I want to give my opinions on "politics" or "trending news" or whatever it is the current buzzwords are about. If you know me in real life, you know how I feel about X, Y,&Z and that's all that should matter.

But I'm bringing this all up because, to paraphrase everyone's favorite Barbie Movie: What were we made for?

No really. What's your answer to that question? What is life meant to be about? What were we as humans made for? And then what were you specifically made for?

I mean were humans really made to spend this one life focusing on all the things that are wrong in the world all the time? It's admirable to want to fix things, but letting it reach the point where we can never ever celebrate the good things because there's still something wrong somewhere else... Is that it? Is life really meant to be nothing more than reacting to the imperfect world around us with anxiety, anger, distrust and fear?

There is literally so much fear in the world. I know people say there's a lot of hate and division and violence and people being the wrong type of delulu, but I personally think it all traces back to fear.

It's the fear of powerlessness. The fear of viewing time as something flying by in a spiraling vortex where the present only promises the future will be even worse. It's the fear that can take over your mind and make anyone-- and I mean Anyone from Any Side-- go into a panic state of fight or flight that is so severe they pass the point of knowing what they're even fighting for.

I'm sure we have all met those people who literally, no matter what is going on, can find something to complain about. Or be anxious about. Or insert whatever negative emotion fits. They're the type of people who go on and on about one thing-- the meal is too salty, no one ever wants to date me, the steam room isn't hot enough-- and when that problem is finally solved what happens next?

Well, now the meal is too hot. Or the significant other has an annoying habit. Now there's a new problem going on and it's all your fault so what are you going to do to fix it for me?

This mindset of always finding something wrong is just... honestly, it's just the worst.

It sucks for everyone involved. The people who are always being blamed for whatever the "issue" is or have to hear the complaints about the same thing over and over, of course it's not fun for them. But it's also not a good time for the people stuck in this 'I have to find the imperfections in everything all the time and obsess over it OR ELSE' mindset.

I sincerely hope no one goes out of their way to wake up like Carl from the first half of Up (obvi referring to when he's a crank, not the cute marriage life montage) but no one should want to be angry and/or fearful all the time. It's not good for your health and it can drive away a lot of people from your life.

And again, I just have to ask; is being consumed with the imperfections and wrongs of the world what life should be about?

So there's no misunderstanding, I'm not saying be a total narcissist who doesn't care about anyone or anything outside themselves. And I'm also not saying become an Ostrich with your head in the sand that goes 'la-la-la I'm not listening' to every problem.

What I'm saying is that, at least in my opinion, humans are here to love.

Love God, if that's what you believe in. Love the earth and the animals and plants living alongside us. Love yourself, and the amazing body you have that can do super cool stuff and is literally unlike any other creature on the planet.

And especially love others.

Fight for the things you believe in, absolutely. Stand up for the ones who can't stand up for themselves.

But also-- and this is where I think people start to get it twisted-- treat others how you'd like to be treated and give grace.

In part one, I talked about giving grace to yourself. And now I'm telling you to give grace to others too.

This is The Bad Place

Yeah, people are the freakin worst. Like we've caused all the stuff that makes you scratch your head and wonder 'Is this the bad place'?

But we've also done amazing things too. Art and music that inspires and moves people to tears. Experiments and inventions that allow us to fly and heal diseases. Big, powerful movements that created positive change along with small, simple acts of kindness that added light to someone's whole world.

People are terrible. People are awesome. People can be summed up into one generalization, and each individual person is an entire multitude in of themselves. People are so easy and predictable to understand while also being incomprehensibly complex.

We are living, breathing paradoxes all wanting the best for an utterly imperfect world that we know is scary and broken and will always be scary and broken to the end of time.

It stands to reason that we, the ones living in this world, should also have turned out scary and broken too. But we aren't scary and broken. People are not a lost cause, no matter what anyone tries to tell you. People try to make change. We show kindness and compassion, and we do simple acts like throwing starfish back into the ocean because it might be a small, insignificant creature, but it needed our help so we helped it.

And that is what humans were made for.

In this out-of-control world we live in, we need to remember we're here to be the paradox. When life says it's time to panic and cry and be angry at everyone, we need to be loving and kind and find the joy in life instead.

I think people have forgotten that it's okay to feel the big and sometimes negative feelings we all get. For some reason, it seems like everyone thinks you either got bottle them up or you have to lash out with them and make them everyone else's problem. In reality, we should be using these feelings we all have as a way to come together, to support each other and to show kindness. To say that 'I know how you feel, you are not alone and I promise even though it seems impossible, it will get better'.

In the last few years, the two things that have been increasing on the same high incline is loneliness and division. And while I'm not ~saying~ it's those dang phones, I am saying that having your predominant connections be ones behind a screen, especially behind a little profile pic, is a problem.

We were made for human connection. And I'm sorry, but I do not buy that online connections can replace physical ones. They can be fun, sure, I love my online community. But they aren't the same as the real-life people in front of me.

We've all heard the whole thing of trolls on the internet only say terrible stuff because if they actually had to look you in the eyes and say the most horrific insults you've ever heard, they wouldn't find the courage. I think it stands to reason that if you're able to dehumanize people from behind a screen enough to tell them to unalive themselves, then you'll also be unable to humanize them enough for when you need a supportive friend.

We were made to love. You can't love through a little glass box full of circuits and wires. You have to be out there, in the real world, to show and receive love.

So when life starts getting hard and you start internalizing every mistake, every bad news, every doomscrolling ragebait anxiety-inducing headline, stop.

Take a long, deep breath. Feel the feelings, don't bottle them up. And then remember why you're here.

The best way of fighting back against hate and fear and evil itself, is love.

If you're going to take your life seriously, don't do it in a way that makes you view every slip-up from either yourself or others as a cancellable death penalty. Don't take it so seriously that you forget humans are inherently flawed and fallible and make a looooooot of mistakes all the time.

Take the love that you are able to share seriously. Take your role as being a force of light seriously.

Spend more time in the real world, impacting the ones you can in the way you can, and rest easy knowing you did your best. If you are doing everything with love, then you are doing amazing. And that's all that matters.

I love y'all so much-- imperfections and all<3

"Jesus replied, "The most important commandment is this:... And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength. The second is equally important: Love your neighbor as yourself. No other commandment is greater than these."

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