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Go With the Flow: The Passengers

Happy Monday loves! I'm continuing the 'Riders of life series' and today I'll be talking about the second type of riders: The Passengers.

The Passengers are the people who seem to be game for anything. They can withstand whatever life throws at them, because they strive to be adaptable to any scenario.

Similar to the Enjoyers, the Passengers can face the downs of life with optimism, but instead of searching for the silver lining in every scenario, Passengers tell themselves that things will inevitably get better. For every downhill or surprising loop on the rollercoaster of life, there is also an uphill. It may take a while to get there, but Passengers can rely on the fact it will happen and will work on not getting stressed out until then.

But unlike Enjoyers, Passengers don't view the unknown aspects of the future as something 'exciting to be discovered'. More like the Controllers (who I will talk about next week), the Passengers have a final destination in mind that they are trying to reach. These are the type of people who know what they want and are so certain that they will get it that they don't see the need to worry when life throws them a curveball.

Passengers ultimately ride through life with the mindset that everything will work out. From them, we can learn:

To let go and relax.

I'm going to go back to the 'roller-coaster of life' for a minute. When riding a roller-coaster, there's only so much you can control. You can dictate what you wear, when you decide to get on the ride, sometimes even decide where on the ride you sit, and can learn as much as you can about what to expect on the ride, yet it still won't be enough to fully prepare you. Even if you watch someone's go-pro footage of the same exact ride, it's a vague comparison to what you will actually experience.

The speed, the drops, the surprising twists and loops aren't something you can know and prepare for until after you've already done it. You certainly can't tell the ride operators to slow down or speed up when you want them to. The only way you can have full control is by imaging what your ideal ride looks like while never getting on; but then you'll miss the ride entirely.

Passengers know that with no risk comes no reward. When they have a destination in mind, they will get on the ride and accept the fact that they will have to face the unexpected in order to get where they want. So they do. They let go of their apprehensions and their perfectly crafted schedule and instead allow themselves to follow the twists and turns they have to take to get to their goal.

Their lives might take them places they never expected- for better or worse- but they manage to remain relaxed and grounded the entire time. Because Passengers know they will end up exactly where they need to.

Your journey is your own; others can't control it.

Along with Passengers knowing it's futile to try to control the tracks and speed of life, they also know they can't manage how others behave in life. Sometimes the actions of others can affect our own lives in ways we can't predict; a boss can impact your job or salary, someone can hit your car, or some can negatively affect our mental and emotional health. Almost everyone has been hurt, either intentionally or accidentally, by another person (just as I am certain all of us have hurt someone intentionally or accidentally).

Passengers know all people are imperfect and will make mistakes. Sometimes the people that make those mistakes will apologize and other times they just won't. It sucks but it's the truth. But rather than wait for someone else to own their mistakes or apologize, Passengers will adjust, continue to live their lives, and not let what someone else does be the reason they get stuck in a rut or derailed.

(This is more in a generalized sense of being slighted by someone. In some severe or extreme cases, people should apologize or be held accountable no matter what. With those instances, ask for advice from a reliable source and support group on how to best go about this.)

In the same way as not letting people negativity impact their path, Passengers also don't compare their journeys with others who have already made it.

I am a huge believer in asking for advice and looking to experts. If you can learn from someone who's a shining star in the same field or dream you're trying to pursue, absolutely do it. Ask for help. See how the greats did it. Read up on those 'rags to riches' stories that will encourage you when things aren't working out the way you wanted. But don't fall into the trap that because your story doesn't exactly mirror Mr. Great Accomplishment, that you won't make it.

Passengers know that the journeys and advice of those who've come before are guidelines, not a rulebook set in stone. They learn from this resource, but Passengers don't freak out when their journeys start to separate. They shrug their shoulders, adapt, and know that this will be a unique note in their own story that might actually encourage someone else down the road.

Learn from the drops and downs.

I know it's a cliche, but I do believe it's true that there is always a lesson to be learned when things don't turn out the way we want. Whether it's working hard just to fail or going through a rough patch, Passengers know that it's happened for a reason and there is something they need to learn in those hard times.

Whether you believe in God, the universe, or something else, the people who view their trials as something sent to them as a way to grow and change positively seem to have a greater love for life, along with accomplishing their dreams more. They know that the greatest masterpieces take time and that diamonds are only formed under pressure (it's such a cheesy line I know, but it's true).

Passengers don't resist or panic when they face an unexpected drop. Rather, they sit through the ride, observing what's around them and looking for the lesson that they will need to take with them before they can go back up. With most rides, after every wild, stomach-sinking drop, comes the relaxing or even beautiful flat stretch that gives you the chance to rest and catch your breath before beginning the upward climb. It's hard work, but the view is worth it.

Life in the eyes of a Passenger is the same way. It isn't always fun to go on a drop, it can even be downright discouraging. But sometimes, it's necessary. It forces us to step back and take a moment to see how far we've come while creating a space where we have to sit still and process how much farther we have to go. But with that forced standstill usually comes that burst of motivation we need to overcome that final hurdle when everything pays off.

Like I mentioned last week, the three rider types aren't the only types. Most people are some type of combination with a leaning towards one over the other. All of them are good, just different; kind of like people.

And just like people, there is always something to learn and emulate from people who are different than us. If you aren't more like a Passenger that's totally okay! It can be hard to have a 'go with the flow' mindset if you just aren't wired that way (talking to myself here). But it's helpful to remember that everything happens the way it's supposed to. For better or for worse, in easy and hard times, life will turn out the way it needs to.

Now that doesn't mean you won't have to put in some hard work. But it does mean that your efforts aren't in vain, and they will pay off if you trust them to.

Love y'all!

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