So I'm going to be honest, this week has been rough, to say the least. And though I don't know why this is, I know I'm not the only one. Maybe it has something to do with the full moon or school starting again. Or maybe it's just a weird coincidence that a lot of people are facing their stormy seasons all at the same time.
I don't think anyone ever enjoys the rougher parts of life. Sure, we might all look back on them way later with nostalgia-blinders, shake our heads, and joke about how dramatic our past selves were, but in the moment? Yeah, they suck.
It's hard when you're facing a situation that doesn't have a solution or an end in sight. How do you stay optimistic, patient, faithful, ~insert other similar words/phrases we've all been told during our waiting periods~, or any other feeling that is remotely positive during a phase like this?
Add on top of that the silent pressure to keep it to yourself unless you want the added guilt of being a 'complainer' and now it's a really rocky road you're walking.
Like I said, life's storms are freaking hard.
They can all be different. Some are booming, whirling thunderstorms when you lose a job, relationship, home, or some other constant you'd thought you'd always have. Others are sweltering, mind-numbing doldrums where you're stuck waiting and waiting for something that you can't make happen any faster.
Doesn't matter which storm you're facing, they're all some type of painful.
I don't think there's anyone out there who willingly sets off to find hardship. A lot of us, myself included, don't like the fact that life is difficult and unfair and unpredictable. And while I've been working on accepting the fact that the real world-- unlike my Sims-- is something I can't control, some people still look for a way out of the harsher realities of life.
That's why it doesn't surprise me that, if there was an option to stay where it was safe and not experience hardships, most people would jump at the chance. I mean, we literally live in a world that has so many delivery services people don't need to leave their homes anymore; of course we all want the easy option!
Now, obviously, you can't avoid every storm. Life's only constant is change and all that. But in theory, if you wanted to get through life mostly unscathed, you just have to do one simple thing: Find your comfort zone and never leave it.
I'm serious. If you strangle your day into a rigid, unwavering routine, you'll be able to skip a lot of struggles. For example, someone not staying in their comfort zone would leave a job that's bad for their mental health or that they've out-grown, even at the risk of being unemployed for a bit. Someone choosing safety would grin and bear it, and rest in the fact they don't have to face the unpredictable. Same thing about staying with a partner, despite not being truly compatible-- because it's better than risking the chance of dying alone. Picking safety means letting your dreams wither and die, because that's much easier than trying to pursue them and potentially falling on your face.
Yeah, staying in your comfort zone will almost always guarantee safety-- definitely from risk and the Unknown. So there you go. That's the super simple key to avoiding most of life's storms.
Sounds really boring, doesn't it?
Like mind-numbingly boring.
Boring enough to make you wonder if a life without risk and striving and failing is even a life at all.
On a totally related note, did you know humans have never been able to successfully keep a Great White shark in captivity?
I'm serious, you can google it. Almost every attempt at keeping one, aside from a baby that was released back into the wild, has ended the same way. "In their tanks, the great white sharks would not eat and needed help swimming. Within days or weeks, they were dead." This same article goes on to explain that a lot of the sharks would actually get extremely injured during their captivity from repeatedly running into walls.
And to be clear, most of these sharks were not sickly when they were first placed in the aquarium. They only got that way after being placed into a small, perfectly controlled enclosure where they didn't have to swim crazy long distances or hunt or worry about bigger Great Whites (or Orcas). They were given a one-way ticket to easy street with plenty of food and a safe, litter-free home, and that's what killed them.
This isn't unique to Great Whites, by the way. Yeah, we've been able to capture and display almost every other animal, but they're usually not happy. I know we've all seen those crappy "zoos" that stick living creatures into cement enclosures and tell people with a straight-face that the tiger erratically pacing back and forth is so much happier in captivity than if he was in the wild.
Stay with me, I'm not trying to give a TedTalk about the morality of zoos or whatever (not today, anyway). My point for bringing this up is that we have real-world examples of living creatures with similar levels of intelligence being placed within "their comfort zone". We can see what happens when an animal is living in a stress-free, completely safe, and riskless environment, exactly the kind of environment most people claim to want, and almost all of them end the same way.
The sharks harm themselves by ramming into walls. Killer Whales get aggressive and depressed; no, the flopped fin is NOT natural. Cheetahs in captivity are literally paired with therapy dogs to help with their anxiety (yeah, so cute, right? Until you really think about it). Apex predators regress into sleepy, lazy versions of themselves that would actually die if they ever had to hunt for survival again.
And still, despite all the examples of what living in a 'comfort zone' can do to you, I still know people who wish they had this zoo-like lifestyle. A life where you never had to think for yourself, where every day was the exact same, where you had no autonomy or impact on your environment, and that would leave you in a state of extreme panic and distress if you had to make a decision for once.
If you want that, fine, I'm not one to judge.
But I think most people can agree that this "life" in a comfort zone isn't a real life. It's not living, it's merely existing.
Yeah, the alternative means you'll have to take risks. Staying out of the comfort zone guarantees you'll be living in the Bermuda Triangle of life- complete with tidal waves and stagnant lulls. Very rarely will one day look exactly like the other. You'll have to be responsible for your actions (good and bad).
And this is scary, because it means facing unknowns. It means enduring a long period of singleness instead of settling for whoever just happens to be in front of you first. It means moving to a brand new city or even a new country because that's where your path is heading, even if you don't fully know why. It can mean struggling to find a job or losing friends when you stand up for yourself.
Often, it can mean feeling alone at times, too. A life out of the comfort zone will be met with confusion and judgement when you do what is right for you versus what others are expecting you to do.
But you know what? It's your life. Shouldn't you be the one in charge of it?
I guess it boils down to one question: Would you rather stay trapped in a state of 'security' or would you rather sail through the storms on the heading you chose?
Love y'all <3
"A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for." --John A. Shedd
Comments